Welcome to my current obsession.
It’s
Wednesday morning. I’m wrapped up in a blanket with a bowl of Kashi cereal and my
home-brewed Starbucks coffee, just re-reading these words. I’ve had this blog
post written for days. Since then, many things about our American culture have
stirred me to respond in writing – the face of human rights, the almighty power
of the press, women training for the front lines of combat, etc. I’m actually not going
to give those topics the time of day. There is something more unsettling in my
heart, and it does not concern our society as a whole, it concerns the
individual. Namely, me and you.
When I
started this blog, I had a strong desire to create a space where readers and
writers like myself could openly admit that they don’t have the discipline to
meet with God every day or the righteousness to obey Him with every choice. I
wanted to clear the air of Christian stereotypes, break down the walls of
denial, open the door for honesty, and facilitate change. I wanted to focus on
what is truly holy.
Let’s
be honest. The name ‘Grace When I Forget’ came to me last year in a grocery
store parking lot. I sat in my car wondering why I didn’t love writing for the
newspaper. Am I lazy? Do I just not want
to work?? Yes, actually, I can be very lazy. But on this day, I realized
that I had no desire to climb the journalist’s ladder because it was so far
from my passion or concern. My thoughts were consumed by a spiritual burden. College is over, so what if I forget about
Jesus? What if I start getting tunnel vision and start living on my own terms
for my own benefit? I was picturing myself indifferent to God and other
people – like a zombie, because at the time I was really getting into that
show, The Walking Dead.
Anyway,
the burden I felt was not only for my life, but also for the girls in my high
school youth group, friends, coworkers, and all the young women around me. I
didn’t want to forget about Jesus, and I didn’t want to be able to hide from
Him when I felt guilty. I'm sure many women feel the same way!
So here's the back-story:
The
‘grace’ when I forget doesn’t mean “oops” I forgot. Doing my own thing, living
without regard for His will in my life, disobeying Him, not making time for Him
– this is what Elyse Fitzpatrick called our Christian “amnesia”. I forgot I
didn’t live up to God’s standards, I forgot that Christ built the bridge for me
to commune with Him again, I forgot that it cost his life, and I forgot that He
wanted mine. If life with Christ was just about taping an apology around pure
rebellion, we would all be righteous looking little liars. Forgiveness is God’s
promised gift to us when we return to Him, and His grace provides a canopy for
us even when we don’t think we need it. It motivates us to stop denying that we
are naturally selfish and willful people. And it teaches us who we are in order
to best understand Him. So, what’s more important than instagramming selfies
that show the world how real we are? Being real with ourselves.
The
good news is, you and I are doing this together. You are not the stray cat at
church, and I have no excuse to isolate myself. The church is Christ’s body,
and we work together. As this blog progresses, I will continue to write about
women’s issues and counseling topics, but you also have the ability to help
others remember Jesus. Maybe you actually like writing for the newspaper and
can tolerate CNN. Maybe you want to be a mom. Maybe you have no idea. Doesn’t
matter – we all have an influence on someone, somewhere. Therefore, whatever we
do, let’s not forget whose kingdom we live for, and let us be known by our
love.
